Recently I took a call from Nevada; a gentleman calling to make a complaint with “the V-ah-P, prezzy-dent or SOMEone”. The man, who we will call Gordon, was very upset. Deeply and truly upset.
Gordon began as dramatically as he could. Think Broadway rookie at an audition. “I need to talk to someone about this. I have been mocked, laughed at, taunted …”
Liz: “Oh, that’s awful, sir. May I ask what happened?”
Gordon: “Well, let me tell you - the salespeople here - just so rude! - and I can’t even TOUR my own HOUSE -“
Liz: “That’s very disturbing, sir, but could you tell me what happened? And have you tried calling the Nevada division?” Let me guess: Nope.
Gordon: “No! I mean, nobody is there. It’s because of the holiday.”
Liz: “…Sir, if I’m working today, they are working today. Our offices do not close until tomorrow at 12:30pm.” Nice try.
Gordon: “Well I need to talk to somebody in charge of the Nevada division.”
Liz: “You’d need to call them for that, sir.” But you won’t.
Gordon: “Nooo no no! I mean the person in charge of Nevada from California!”
Liz: “Okay, let me see if they are in today. Could you explain the problem to me in the meantime?” If there was actually ever a problem …
Gordon: “I’m just trying to buy a home - the sales people were so - and I’m not the ONLY one who they’ve been rude to! You know, it’s just ridiculous - I’m spending half a million dollars on a house and - I guess I’m just the only one who will stand up and not take it anymore!”
Liz: “How frustrating, sir.” Yes, name-drop that dollar amount. Like I don’t know what a home we’ve built costs. Oh, no! He’s discovered our unrelenting and lifelong persecution of him, and HE WON’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
Gordon: “And I just need to talk to someone who will do something about this - you know, I could take this public!”
Liz: “Indeed, sir. This is just terrible.” Go public? You do that. In fact, let me find you the number for CNN. Let’s see how fast they jump on this one. I can see it now: “Scamming Prospective Homebuyer Unhappy with Treatment at Sales Office”.
Gordon: “I’m so upset, I just - you know, I have recordings of the saleswoman being rude. I could do it, I could go public.”
Liz: “You are absolutely right, sir, you could go public. But before you do, let me get the Nevada division on the line, and we can discuss this issue immediately. What are the names of the associates you interacted with?” Let’s dig up some legitimate backstory, shall we?
Gordon: “What? Oh - um…”
Liz: “After all, sir, our customer is always right, and naturally if you have a recording, we need to fire someone immediately.” Oh, there is none? Curious. Cue the backpedaling.
Gordon: “Well that’s not necessa-“
Liz: “Oh, no, sir, we’ll get this straightened out right away, just let me get Nevada on the phone -“
Liz: “Well, what do you know. He hung up.”